All I want for Christmas

For those of you with no imagination when thinking up ways to make me smile on Christmas Day, here's a non-exhaustive of things that I want:

1. World peace
2. The return of my beloved red mountain bicycle, stolen as I returned home from a night of drunken dancing on the Batofar last September
3. Alternatively, the replacement of my beloved red mountain bicycle, with any other mountain bicycle (preferably not brand new, because it will only get stolen again)
4. A massive power failure on Christmas Day, obliging all parents to spend time with their children, several of whom are obnoxious, in the hope that some manners will be learned, making the world will be a better place on Boxing Day
5. A fabulous new boyfriend (warning, I am rather fussy when it comes to the particulars of this item; best to check with me about the model you are considering before purchase, and please make sure that it is suitable for men aged 34 and upward, and that batteries are included)
6. This DVD (see Thursday November 16th entry, titled 'Federline Core')
   
7. A boxed set of CDs called ‘Songs for Christmas’ by Sufjan Stevens
8. Sufjan Stevens (dear God, I'll bat on your team if you just let Sufjan Stevens be gay... please!)
9. Nominations and votes for the Best Gay Blog award
10. A calling card from you
    

That’s not too much to ask for, is it?