16 February 2007

Open Letter... to hair-stylists

Dear Hair-stylists, or whatever you prefer to be called nowadays,
To begin, one acknowledges the role you perform in society; of paramount importance, for image would be impossible to maintain without your careful assistance.

Alas, almost seven weeks have passed since my last consultation with a member of your profession, and one approaches what some might describe as a desperate need for a decent trim. But one finds oneself unable to trust in your professional capabilities, because on my last two visits, despite my express stipulation that one did NOT want a short haircut, one was practically sheared like a sheep.

Admittedly, there is a lot to be said for having short hair; one can roll out of a stranger's bed in the morning and dash for the nearest exit without pausing before a mirror. However, one has reached a time in life when one no longer desires the same short-cropped clone look of every other gay gentleman on the planet... and yet that is what you insist upon giving me, despite repeated insistince that it is NOT what one wants.

All one -firmly, but politely, in four European languages if necessary- requests is that you continue to demonstrate efficiency with scissors.

One does NOT require that you provide value for money by hacking off as much hair as possible.

NOT SHORT means NOT SHORT!

NO! STOP! STOP!

STOP CUTTING!

Insincerely,

Ms C Quisp

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