A new saviour is born?

Madonna wants to be like Gandhi?

Who does that old fraud think she is fooling?

Does she mean Indira? Presiding over a third world country while she lives in unabashed luxury?

No, it's Mahatma, apparently: obviously, La Cicada fancies a new look with sandals, spectacles and a wrap-around white sheet... sorry to disappoint, but Mama Teresa already beat you to it.

Never mind, though: if you really want to try, why not make a start by donating all of your wealth to the world's poor and needy... then one might stop pissing oneself with laughter about your latest publicity stunt, perhaps the most pathetic and desperate of your career.

Did she actually have the gall to say on live radio (Sirius Radio in the US) "I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon... but I want to stay alive." Well, she can't be accused of guile!

Oddly enough, one finds credible another part of the interview where she adds "For me, the best thing in the world is to see something or hear something and go 'damn, I wish I did that, damn, I wish I could do that."

See something like acting? Or hear something like a voice singing in harmony, perhaps?

But it got worse! For that was not all the Material Girl had to share in order to enlighten us. She followed this pile of horseshit with the following remark (clearly, she has been reading my bloguette, and intended to get on my delicate nerves)

"We all need to be Jesus."

Er, I beg your pardon, but don't you mean SNOG a statue of Jesus in a music video to promote an album?

No, apparently:

"We all need to BE Jesus.... we all need to be Jesus in our time... Jesus' message was to love your neighbour as yourself"

Amen... and thank you for sharing your profound insights with us all. One must suppose you're the next best thing to Jesus, if you're Madonna. How many comings have you had? No, that's not what I mean, you dirty old tart... I mean incarnations, of a non-immaculate nature... oh, never mind! For those of you retching, in lieu of the nearest available sickbag, one reccommends a Madonna album sleeve... and still she went rambling on:

"I'd like to think I am taking people on a journey... not just entertaining people, but giving them something to think about when they leave."

One isn't surprised that she'd LIKE to think she's entertaining... and as for her audience, those capable of thought after listening to her shriek are probably wondering what the hell they were thinking, paying so much money to watch a 48 year old has-been in jodhpurs, slithering on a greasy pole.

To conclude, in another interview with People online, La Cicada sucked up to the gay league... or, as this intrepid journalist described it, "shed light on her friendships with gay (gentle)men"

"Gay men are... perfect men for girls who are tough. They're not threatened by strong women, and they're usually very in touch with their feelings and pay attention to details. I've always had an affinity with gay men."

Careful attention to details, but not lyrics; and sadly, many have never been very discerning when it came to recognition of musical talent. But they are renouned for having a sense of humour and being able to recognise a cheap attempt to win them over. Surely -please, somebody- the gay league are able to recognise this for what it is, and have sent out a hit squad to smash the new Messiah's glitterball, before this gets any worse?