Potty!
(PHOTO REMOVED!)
Yes, he does look cute, gentle reader, but what a bizarre arrangement in the background, and what is it he sits upon? At his age, it cannot possibly be a... what is the politically correct term? A toilet trainer? A receptacle for infant unpleasantness? A potty?
One considers he is a bit young for this, and certainly too young to be expected to remove their own pants! Why, X experienced difficulty unbuttoning his own jeans well into his thirties ( he also experienced difficulty standing upright after he'd been out drinking) one has fond memories of a particular night when he collapsed on my bed at dawn, incapable of movement but capable of pleading to help him undress and engage in violent love-making. It was quite hilarious, gentle reader... no, really!
In any case, returning to the embarrasing moment at hand; what is my best friend thinking, placing a potty on the kitchen table- it can't be hygenic! And does she want this child to develop vertigo? Don't get me started on that table cloth; can there be such a thing as curtain material it doesn't clash horribly with? What kind of colour sense is the poor child going to have, hmmn?
Imagine what the neighbours or the family will think, calling around for a nice cup of tea only to find... perhaps this explains everything; it's an avoidance strategem!
Alternatively, perhaps it's some new-age fad: associate natural bodily functions with performance on a stage, applaud upon delivery... Well, some conceptual artists made a living from that kind of thing in the last century, but one cannot have my namesake becoming a 21st century Leigh Bowery... one hates being upstaged!
One considers he is a bit young for this, and certainly too young to be expected to remove their own pants! Why, X experienced difficulty unbuttoning his own jeans well into his thirties ( he also experienced difficulty standing upright after he'd been out drinking) one has fond memories of a particular night when he collapsed on my bed at dawn, incapable of movement but capable of pleading to help him undress and engage in violent love-making. It was quite hilarious, gentle reader... no, really!
In any case, returning to the embarrasing moment at hand; what is my best friend thinking, placing a potty on the kitchen table- it can't be hygenic! And does she want this child to develop vertigo? Don't get me started on that table cloth; can there be such a thing as curtain material it doesn't clash horribly with? What kind of colour sense is the poor child going to have, hmmn?
Imagine what the neighbours or the family will think, calling around for a nice cup of tea only to find... perhaps this explains everything; it's an avoidance strategem!
Alternatively, perhaps it's some new-age fad: associate natural bodily functions with performance on a stage, applaud upon delivery... Well, some conceptual artists made a living from that kind of thing in the last century, but one cannot have my namesake becoming a 21st century Leigh Bowery... one hates being upstaged!
3 comments:
I think it's something like the the bébéPOD.
It's a bumbo jackass!
http://www.brightideasbaby.com/Scripts/product_bumbo.asp
"Want more information about the Bumbo Seat? [Read] Unforgettable Bumbo Seat Stories - amazing stories of how the Bumbo Baby Seat has helped countless children enjoy seeing the world around them...
(eg.) 'When I first heard about the Bumbo seat I was not at all excited. After all, we already had a high chair, a swing, a bouncy, a boppy, and an exersaucer. I felt like we did not need one more piece of equipment to put our little man in. Well, one was given to us and I must say, it was the best gift we received. I don't know what I would do with out it... the Bumbo changed our lives. We take it everywhere. Onlookers think our tiny guy is adorable sitting up like a big boy when we go out to dinner. Our families loved that he could actually sit up and participate in the opening of presents at Christmas. My baby sits in his Bumbo to eat, sing, play, and be read to. If I had to choose, I would trade my swing, boppy, and exersaucer for one Bumbo. I think this is a must have for a new baby' (written by Stacie M, A proud new mom!)"
Gracious thanks for your comments, readers. One is quite speechless!
Goodness knows what parents did with their money, and how infancy was survived, before the Bumbo was invented.
The longer one lives, the more keenly one feels that whatever was good enough for our fathers is simply not good enough for us.
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